Wednesday 29 August 2012

Are we curt or efficient?

Singaporeans (and sometimes Malaysians too) have often been accused of being curt in their communication, especially by SMS or text messages.  In our hurry to get the message across in 160 characters or less, we cut out all "social" language and cut straight to the point. 

Let me quote an example.  I want to invite my friend for dinner.  I haven't communicated with her in some months.  I send her a text message: "hi. u free 4dinner next Wed?"  In Singapore, that's perfectly acceptable.  I would not be offended by the brevity of the message.  I would simply respond with a "yes" or a "no" and maybe a place and time to meet.

But, in other parts of Asia, I have first to be "social": My text message would be: "hi.  how r u? hv nt talked in awhile.  wat's going on with u?  m fine.  my work is ok.  i like wat m doing."  Then I'd wait for a similar "social" response.  After 3-4 such exchanges, then can I ask her for dinner!

Personally, I detest all this "idle chatter".  It's a complete waste of my time and uses up my text messages.  But, I've learned to be social when talking to friends from those countries.  What I did to adapt is to go along with the conversation, but don't let it go on forever.  Allow for a minute or two of "small talk", then go straight into the point of the conversation.  It works!

I've done this with Cambodians and they are perfectly happy with my approach.  Often, they don't know how to bring up the issue, so end up beating around the bush for a long time.  To help them out, I draw it out of them in a much shorter time.  At the end of it, we don't have a clash of cultures, but a "win-win" situation.  Both of us are happy.

Do you have a story to tell about culture differences?  Share it with me!

No comments:

Post a Comment